


Angel 2.0

by Copgirl1964



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 05:56:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19125964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Copgirl1964/pseuds/Copgirl1964
Summary: Aziraphale receives an upgrade.





	Angel 2.0

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask me why my mind came up with this silly little story last night. Had some time this morning so I decided to write it down right away.  
> Thank you, Stina, for betaing on very short notice.

Angel 2.0

Angels were created and they don't reproduce. Therefore, angels had no need for features such as nipples, a belly button or those nether regions humans are so obsessed with. Since the beginning of creation that had been the case but all that changed on a foggy Sunday afternoon in November 1965. An incident that was later nicknamed 'The Ken Incident', which involved a cormorant, salt, about a dozen or so slugs and one archangel Gabriel, caused a celestial recall campaign.

Gabriel had never been able to remember how he ended up naked in a hospital in Ushuaia. Just before he managed to escape the baffled doctors, he had slight difficulties to explain why he lacked certain features that were typical for humans.

It was decided then and there that under no circumstances something similar should happen again. Hence, all angels needed to receive an upgrade.

Aziraphale had been perusing a just released signed copy of “A Plague of Demons” by Keith Laumer, which he intended to gift Crowley for Christmas, when he was summoned upstairs. He returned less than half an hour later, happy that for once, no one had enquired about his missing flaming sword, but otherwise rather shaken. No longer in the mood to leaf through the book, he went upstairs to sit down with a cup of tea. That is, until he actually sat down. No sooner than his bottom and the newly attached accessoires had made contact with the upholstery, Aziraphale shot up again. He gave his favourite armchair a tearful look and decided to familiarize himself with said accessoires.

While the angel stepped out of his clothes, the door to the shop opened and Crowley walked inside. The demon always had low regard for locked doors and tended to ignore them.

Sensing the angel’s energy pattern, Crowley trudged upstairs, where he expected Aziraphale enjoying a cup of tea and some biscuits. Instead, he found him standing naked in front of a full-length mirror in his bedroom.

Distracted by the sight of his belly button, Aziraphale nearly jumped out of his skin when he detected the demon’s reflection in his mirror.

“What on earth are you doing here?” he exclaimed.

“Visiting,” Crowley replied and got comfortable on the angel’s bed. “What are you doing?”

“I received an upgrade,” Aziraphale said and turned to let Crowley see his new attachments. “Please, take off your shoes. They are filthy.”

“They are not,” Crowley replied, but toed off his shoes before he adjusted his glasses. “I hope you didn’t pay too much for that.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“This,” he waved his hand in the general direction of the angel’s groin, “is merely average.”

In truth Crowley thought that the angel’s silvery white pubic hair and porcelain-like penis and bollocks looked rather attractive.

“This whole… arrangement is new,” Aziraphale replied, quite exasperated. He touched his penis like someone might smooth down some fabric. “It feels very… odd.” He turned towards the mirror once more.

“My trousers no longer fit properly, and I think I might need new underwear.”

Wiggling his hips a bit caused his penis to jiggle, and Aziraphale shook his head in dismay. “You have one too?” he asked Crowley. “It’s just a silly piece of flesh.”

The demon’s lips curled into a salacious smile. “Mine certainly isn’t silly.”

“But neither you nor I need to pee.” Aziraphale sounded unhappy. “What am I supposed to do with it?”

In a flash Crowley appeared right behind Aziraphale. Wrapping his arms around the angel from behind, he gently scratched over his chest with the nails of one hand, while running the other up one thigh.

“That I can show you,” Crowley purred into his ear, giving the shell a quick lick with the tip of his tongue.


End file.
